PHOTOGRAMMETRIC ENGINEERING & REMOTE SENSING
December 2014
1097
PROFESSIONAL
INSIGHT
s
) E
xcitement and
500 years ago. Safety concerns are paramount. The last
thing we want to happen is for there to be an air collision
and someone gets hurt on, the happiest night of the year,
Christmas Eve.”
Adding to the safety concerns, there have been near
misses. Gily Elf, a geodesist who sometimes gets to ride
with Santa, agrees, “Everybody thinks inertial navigation
works great, but when we can’t see the stars or other fixed
reference points at least once in a while, things get hairy. I
remember one time in particular, we almost slammed right
into the side of the Abominable Snowman’s mountain!” San-
ta’s Chief Safety Elf, however, said, “Everybody calm down
now. There has NEVER been an accident in the history of
North Pole operations.” Nonetheless, Grandpa disagrees,
claiming that Grandma got run over by a reindeer one
Christmas Eve.
Even Rudolph’s handler admits, “It’s true, Rudolph’s nose
doesn’t seem as bright as it used
to be. Not sure if it’s more about
21
st
Century smog that’s hard
to see through, or if Rudolph is
getting on in years.” Either way,
the sleigh outfitters have found it
necessary to equip Santa’s sleigh
with LED beacons. Although no
elves would allow themselves to
be quoted, many admit off the re-
cord that the LEDs shine brighter
than Rudolph. Upon hearing that,
Mrs. Claus said, “It’s a sad state
of affairs at the North Pole when
elves think blinking electric lights
are an OK way to do Christmas.”
Santa was not available for
comment. He is in rehab. Appar-
ently, Mrs. Claus gave Santa a
Fitbit ® wristband for Christmas
last year. Santa became addicted
to it and has been obsessively
tracking his exercise and calories burned. He has lost over
100 pounds since last Christmas and is now on a crash diet
to get his weight back up before the big day. While in rehab,
to help Santa Claus keep up his good cheer, the elves gave
him a set of remote-controlled reindeer to play with. The
Chief Elf said, “They aren’t real UAS because they are just
a hobby for Santa right now. Still, Santa thinks they have
a lot of potential for revolutionizing his business, and he is
welcoming the new technology. But for right now, he cer-
tainly enjoys doing loopity-loops with them.”
The official use and adoption of Unmanned Santa Systems
controversy continues. Perhaps soon, new technology and
advanced systems will be utilized in a way only the magic
of the North Pole could imagine. For now, all the children
around the world can rest easy knowing the team at the
North Pole is working very hard on another successful
Christmas.
MI CHAEL HAUCK , NORTH POLE PRESS CORP
